How to overcome fear? We ask psychologists
- David, are you not afraid when you are driving at a speed of 350 km / h?
"It's scary every time."
- And how do you deal with your fear?
- Even more I press on the gas. I seem to look into my fear. And defeating him.
His phrase seems to have struck me forever in my memory. Since then, I have been trying to “put pressure on the gas”, in which case. Do not hide your fear somewhere in the far corner, do not pretend that it is not there, do not run away, but, on the contrary, confidently go to meet it, to examine and deal with it once and for all. It does not always work, but the promise is correct. After all, if the fear of doing nothing, it will turn into a phobia. In general, fear is a great thing. The whole thing is only in its dosage.
Psychologists distinguish three types of fear: normal (typical of all people), pathological (terrible fear for no reason) and existential (fear of choice).
With normal fear do nothing. He does not prevent us from living. Does not bring unnecessary anxiety, does not cause panic.Normal human fear mobilizes. Makes you do the right thing, act, get better.
Pathological fear is difficult. This is a mental disorder. Anxiety from scratch. There are a lot of people who are afraid of everything that is outside their home, they are afraid of society, a large crowd of people. They can not ask a passer-by where the nearest stop is. Or when a person has everything in life well and seemingly no cause for concern, he becomes afraid that something terrible can happen. Just. Because in his opinion, absolute well-being does not happen. And he is waiting for trouble. Every day, every minute. Similar phobias weight.
We are all familiar with existential fear. This is when a person makes a choice, and then he suffers in thought about the correctness of his choice. Only the degree of such torment is different.
Interestingly, but the very existence of a person rests on the fear of death. This is the instinct of self-preservation. There is no fear of death - there is no instinct of self-preservation. Strange as it may seem, all other fears are reduced to one degree or another to the fear of death. I never thought that the modern cult of beauty - the desire to become younger thanksthe possibilities of plastic surgery and other cosmetic innovations - also provoked by the fear of death. We are trying on a subconscious level to preserve our youth in order to prolong our life.
Do you know the fear of success or the fear of fulfilling your dream?
The fear of success in a person is often laid in childhood by their own parents: “All have children as children, but what about you ?!”, “Look how Vasya learns! One five! And you ?! "," Svetka from a neighboring entrance to a prestigious university entered! "," Masha married a rich man, and you choose fools! "Parents, even if for educational purposes, often for the best of reasons, but somehow make it clear to their children, that those are worse than others. A child on the subconscious level is postponed: "I am not so good, I am not so clever, I am worse than those and those." When a child becomes an adult, he is afraid to lay claim to something more, he is afraid of real success, because the perception of himself must be radically changed. “What if I can't do it?” I'm a fool. I am worse than others. I remember what my mom said, she can't be wrong. ” It often happens that a person achieves a certain success and, before the fulfillment of the cherished dream, remains quite a bit, the last step. And he turns around and goes back.One step left, but he is not able to do it! Why? At the subconscious level, it works like this: in order to live long, a person needs a goal, a dream, an idea. Without this, life is empty. Lack of goals or dreams leads to early old age. Again the fear of death is included. Here it is important to fully realize that after the fulfillment of one dream another should appear. In words it is easy. But the subconscious does not believe you. Psychologists recommend to make a list of one hundred small desires. Eliminate them as they perform and replace them with new desires. Thus, we will show our subconscious that one dream will be followed by another.
The most effective way to defeat your fears is to understand their nature, where they came from and what could provoke them. Logical thinking is an effective weapon against fears that prevent us from living. There is no point in existential fear. We will never know for sure if the right choice was made, whether they took the road, married, or chose the profession.
If we ourselves can explain, for example, why we suffer from panic attacks, they will no longer seem so scary to us.We will understand that disturbing thoughts are only the result of a mental disorder and they have nothing in common with reality. If you cannot figure out the problem yourself, you need to contact a psychologist. What, in fact, did our readers. This week's topical questions:
Olga, 30 years old, Stavropol
A year ago, I gave birth to a child. During pregnancy, I began to panic attacks. I was afraid that something bad might happen to me or my family members. And now I'm scared for my husband. He goes on a business trip, for example, or to his mother in another city, and I have a picture in front of my eyes, as if he were in an accident. Or I imagine how he gets some terrible disease. It happened that I could even cry from such thoughts, call him and say: "Please do not die." And I have fear not only for my husband, but also for myself and my relatives.
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