How to survive a divorce from her husband?
After parting with your loved one, it seems that life is over. An even greater emotional shock entails a divorce from her husband after a certain period of living together.
�with a husband worthy and get out of a rather difficult situation with minimal losses?
Reasons for divorce
Very often two people, just yesterday passionately loving each other, become completely alien. The society of a loved one instead of pleasure brings only irritation. In some cases, the distance appears imperceptibly, in others - a reason serves as a push. Despite the fact that there are hundreds of reasons for a divorce, the most common are:
- incompatibility of characters. People with different psychological types find it difficult to get along with each other. Trying to please the partner, both boys and girls try to hide the negative traits of their character, bad habits, for example, hot temper, laziness, excessive pedantry or untidiness. Moreover, lovers tend to look at their chosen one through rose-colored glasses and not even notice obvious flaws.You can put up with all the features of a partner and find compromises in the relationship, or decide on a divorce;
- addiction. Living with someone who has a painful craving for alcohol, drugs or gambling can become unbearable. Sometimes addiction can spread to the second half. Therefore, divorce is often the only right decision;
- violence. Domestic violence in most cases occurs on the part of a man, but sometimes the opposite happens. In any case, this behavior has no excuse. You should not repeat the trite phrase "Beats, it means love." So say the people who are trying to find at least some justification for the tyrant. In this situation, divorce is inevitable;
- treason Betrayal is especially hard to survive if the perpetrator does not repent. But even if the half recognizes his guilt, it is rather difficult to forgive adultery, and it is often impossible;
- absence of children. When one of the partners passionately wants to have children, and the second - to live in his own pleasure, conflict is inevitable. The inability to have children due to illness of one spouse can also lead to the separation of the couple.
How to survive a divorce from her husband and not fall into depression
For most women, experiencing separation is a great psychological trauma. Emotions replace each other depending on the stage of the experience. At first, feelings of resentment, bitterness, despair, and self-pity prevail. The feeling of loss and hopelessness is similar to that which appears after the death of a loved one. Regardless of who initiated the divorce, the usual way of life is changing dramatically. No matter how strong a woman is, in the first days or weeks after the family collapse she will experience similar feelings to a greater or lesser extent.
The lost balance must be restored as soon as possible, otherwise it will grow into a prolonged depression, which will be much more difficult to cope with. What do professional psychologists advise in this situation?
- Throw off the negative. The accumulation of insults and negative emotions within oneself is fraught with not only a nervous breakdown, but also a general deterioration of health, up to the development of oncological diseases. Therefore, by any means you need to get rid of it. Crow your anger on a pillow, a punching bag or smash dishes - throw out negative energy. Perhaps you will feel better after sobbing into a girlfriend's vest.Try a way to "drain" the negative. To do this, open the tap with water and articulate all your grievances that you want to wash off the drain hole.
- Change the picture around you. Clean cabinets from the remaining things husband. Remove from sight all reminders of a happy family life. You can make a rearrangement in the apartment, change the curtains or re-stick the wallpaper. Do not forget about yourself. Divorce is a great excuse to spend more time on yourself. If you are not ready to radically change the image, update your wardrobe, experiment with make-up and hairstyle. The surroundings and the reflection in the mirror should cause only positive emotions.
- Do something nice. One of the positive aspects of the current situation is an increase in free time, which can be devoted to your hobby. Maybe you have long wanted to do sports, sign up for a dance studio or learn a foreign language. Now you have a great opportunity to fulfill the desire. Meeting new people and communicating with like-minded people will dispel the remaining sad thoughts.
- Set a goal and firmly follow it.For example, to move up the career ladder or even change jobs to a more interesting and promising one. Or finish driving courses, get a driver's license and buy a long-desired car. Concentrating on the task, you will spend less time with nostalgic memories.
- Refer to the experts. If you feel that you cannot cope with emotional problems on your own, seek professional help from a psychologist. There is nothing shameful about this, thousands of women find themselves in a similar situation.
What not to do:
- do not try to plunge into a new relationship with the first man to forget the previous one. Fresh memories of the former wife will not allow an objective assessment of the new partner. Such relationships will not bring relief and are doomed to failure;
- Do not blame yourself. In the severance of relations, one way or another, both spouses are guilty. Even if you have made a mistake in something, do not reproach yourself, it is human to err. Do not allow others to criticize themselves either;
- do not gossip and revenge.No matter how much you want to take revenge on the offender, you only cause even more damage to your psyche and ruin your own reputation.
Of course, going through a divorce with a husband is quite difficult. But life after a divorce exists. And how bright, interesting and happy she will be, depends solely on you.
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