African Primitive Tribes Rituals And Ceremonies Part 15 Arbore Tribe, Mursi Tribe, Hamar Ethiopia
How to Use Rituals and Ceremonies to Overcome Grief
Coping with loss of any kind can seem overwhelming. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a job, or the loss of something else you may find yourself feeling sad, lonely, and just plain out of sync. You may wonder what you can do to work through your emotions and the grief that you are feeling. There are things you can do to cope. You can use rituals and ceremonies as a way to overcome your grief. Research has shown rituals are a helpful way to overcome grief, possibly due to the sense of control that using rituals can give people.To use this technique, you need to choose the right type of ceremony or ritual, plan the event, and make it meaningful to you.
Choosing the Right Type of Ritual or Ceremony
Do what feels comfortable.There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is also no right or wrong type of ritual or ceremony to have to help you overcome your grief. Doing what feels comfortable to you will feel more authentic and help you work through your loss.
- Don’t let anyone tell you what type of ceremony or ritual you should have to overcome your grief.
- For example, your family may tell you that you should have a private ceremony for your fish. But if a public burial is what feels right to you, then do that.
- Think about what will help you move through the grieving process. Write down what you want to get out of the ritual.
- For instance, you might write, “I want to do something that will celebrate my friend’s life and help me remember him.”
Consider a formal event.Depending on the type of loss, you may want to have a formal ceremony or ritual to overcome your grief. The formal aspects, such as specific clothing, a set order of activities, etc. can provide you with structure and set some limits for your grief.
- There are religious and community leaders that can help you or even hold a formal event for you. This can reduce some of your stress.
- For example, you might say to your rabbi, “I’d like to have a ritual for my uncle. Could you help me?”
- If your loss is due to the death of a loved one, you may want to have a formal memorial ceremony.
- You can also have a formal event when you are grieving for other reasons like a community center closing or a local natural disaster.
Explore informal rituals and ceremonies.They don’t have to be formal events held in specific settings or on specific days. A ritual or a ceremony can be anything you do to help cope with your grief.If you don’t feel up to a formal ritual or ceremony, then consider informal and more casual activities you can use to overcome your grief.
- Think of activities that represent your loss. Use that activity as the ritual or part of it.
- For instance, if your dog recently died but used to love walking to the store, then make a ritual of walking to the store once a day for a while.
- Or, for example, you might make a ritual of writing a daily letter to your ex in your journal until you’ve gotten out all your emotions about the breakup.
Planning Your Ceremony or Ritual
Ask for help.Depending on the type of ritual or ceremony you decide to have, you may need assistance organizing it. Even if it is an informal ceremony, including someone else in the planning process can help you by giving you ideas for activities, helping you decide whether to include others, and offering moral support.
- If you would like to have a formal ceremony or ritual then consider asking your religious or spiritual leader for help planning and holding it.
- You might say, “I’d like to have a ceremony to help our family overcome our grief. Could you help me plan it?”
- Even if you are planning a personal ritual, it’s okay to ask someone close to you for help.
- You might say, “I’m planning a ritual to help me cope with the loss of job. Do you have any suggestions?”
Choose when to have it.Ceremonies are usually held only once or every once in a while. Rituals can be something you do once or on a regular basis. Once you have decided what you want to do, you can decide when you will have the ceremony or ritual and how often you will do it to help you overcome your grief.
- Think about when the ceremony or ritual will be most memorable and meaningful for you.
- For instance, will you have a ritual on the anniversary of your marriage or on the anniversary of your divorce being finalized.
- Ask yourself if this is something you want to do once, or something you want to do on a regular basis.
- For example, do you want to have one home-going ceremony for your friend or do you want to do a ritual each year on her birthday?
Select activities that have significance.Rituals and ceremonies include specific activities that have importance to you and are related to your loss.Think about what activities you can include in the ritual or ceremony to help you cope with your loss. Including words, songs, or movements that have meaning to you will help you overcome grief.
- Make a list of songs that are significant to you during your loss. Consider playing, performing, or asking someone to perform one or two of them at the ceremony.
- Write a letter or speech expressing your grief. If you feel comfortable, you can read it during the ritual or even bury it or shred it.
- Some rituals include dance, handshakes, hugs, and other movement based activities.
- For instance, you might decide to give a small bow to your deceased martial arts teacher when you drive past the dojo.
Decide where to have it.You may have several options of where to have your ritual or ceremony depending on what type you decide to have. Whether you choose a formal public ritual or an informal personal ceremony, you should pick a location that has significance to you. Holding it in a special place will help you overcome your grief.
- The location can be a public place like a park, religious building, or community center.
- For instance, you might plan a ritual at your football field to cope with the loss of your coach.
- You can also decide to have it somewhere private like your home or even your vehicle.
Consider including others.Including others in your ceremony or ritual can help you overcome your grief by providing you with emotional support.If they are experiencing the same loss, inviting others to take part in your ritual or ceremony can also help them overcome their grief.
Making It Meaningful
Center yourself first.Take the time to calm yourself and prepare your mind and emotions for your ritual or ceremony. Even just centering yourself for a few minutes can help you get the most benefit out of what you are doing.
- Take a few deep breaths. Slowly inhale deeply. Hold your breath for a moment or two and then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times.
- Remove any distractions that may prevent you from fully engaging in the ritual or ceremony.
- Turn off your electronic devices and anything else that might disturb you.
- Remind yourself why you are having the ritual or ceremony. Say to yourself, “I’m taking this time to help me overcome my grief.”
Be mindful.One way to overcome your grief is to put all your attention into the ritual or ceremony. By focusing your thoughts and senses on your activity you are also allowing yourself to feel your grief and work through it.Don’t try to mindlessly perform the ritual or ceremony. Think about what you are doing and why you are doing it.
- If you get distracted by a thought during the ritual, that is okay. Just try not to react to it. For example, if you get distracted by a thought that you need to switch out the laundry, don't stop what you are doing to go switch the laundry. Just let the thought pass like watching a cloud float by.
- Pay attention to all of your emotion, thoughts, and senses during the ritual.
- For example, you might notice the smell of the candle you lit, the flicker of it’s flame, and how peacefully you feel.
- You might think something such as, “I’m polishing the silver like Grandma used to do. It feels so heavy. I miss how she would make it gleam.”
- Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions arise when you are performing the ritual. Don’t fight them; it is a natural part of you overcoming your grief.
Express yourself openly.One of the purposes of having the ritual or ceremony is so you can overcome grief. You won’t be able to do this if you hold your emotions in or feel that you have to act a certain way.Express whatever you are feeling in that moment. There is no right or wrong way to express yourself.
- You can cry, yell, scream, or do whatever you need to do to overcome your grief.
- For instance, if you feel like wailing then say to yourself, “It’s okay for me to do this and express my grief this way.”
- If you aren’t fully feeling the impact of your loss yet, then don’t feel like you need to cry or do anything you aren’t feeling.
- For example, you can remind yourself, “I don’t have to cry right now.
Video: Beginner Tips on Preparation For Occult Rituals & Ceremony
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