Parental mistakes in education: how do they affect our adult life?
Often, girls from a young age are raised by their parents in an army discipline, when mom and dad do not just share their life tips, but literally hammer them into their daughters' heads. Day by day, the girl is in the distribution of these immutable principles that cannot be challenged, condemned or not carried out. And it’s not even the fact that mother didn’t want a better child, she just didn’t try to see a person with her own ambitions, desires and thoughts in a small lump, but was guided by the principle “I know better”. Perhaps, in the same way, the grandmother brought up the mother, and she does not know, and in principle does not want to know another pattern of upbringing, and therefore she cuts from the shoulder: they say, preferably only with a whip without gingerbread, otherwise you will only give up slack - and you will miss it.
Discipline, of course, takes place in the educational system, because the toys from the magic pill will not work out on the shelves, and the lessons will not be learned. Naturally, uncontrolled permissiveness cultivates irresponsible and loose people. But at the same time, the total control of the kite over the nest does not allow to develop properly. A person, growing up, not only begins to think about the correctness of each of his breath and step, but in general prefers to do without choice, flows along the log of life. As a result, the habit is formed once again not to think, not to choose, not to reason, but to listen and fulfill. The main thing is that this leads to absolute lack of independence, when without advice from the outside, control over any situation is lost.
Victims vs strong women
If a girl was raised in harsh conditions, then she will not get used to others in her own family life. Most often, these girls are potential victims who choose hidden tyrants and despots for their husbands or are looking for a man much older to “not think”, but to obey, because they are simply lost in terms of partnership.Other girls, with a stronger character, who was constantly subjected to breaking and pressing, grow into “self-aids”, which will pull the house with two mortgages, and carry two children and a weak, infantile husband on their shoulders. Strong women are not used to showing the world their true emotions and feelings simply because they do not see the point. Well, what will change if you weep or report fatigue ?! Doing business and walking boldly still need. It doesn’t even occur to them that sometimes it is perfectly normal to get tired and not to wash a pile of dishes after a deadly working day if there is no strength left. And that it is not at all necessary to keep up with everything, that it is possible and necessary to ask another for help and to manifest external weakness. They control themselves always and everywhere, even when no one has been controlling them for a long time, because they constantly see a ghostly scolding in the form of a parent “a-ta-ta!”.
Good bad advice
There are other consequences of parental mistakes of upbringing, seemingly associated with the best intentions of mom and dad. Mom, who have their own opinion for everything,they never hesitate to openly express it, even where it is not required at all, constantly “pulling” their daughter in the process of growing up, like a puppet of threads, exclusively for good sake! “The carts are worn by ugly tomboy, real girls should walk only with long hair”, “Do not wear this dress, it has some piggy color”, “You can’t wear tight jeans, you have crooked legs” - so your breasts will seem bigger, "- just the tip of the iceberg of pseudo-good parent boards. And it seems like a really caring mother shares her experience, but in fact, she drop by drop instills in her daughter self-doubt and numerous complexes that will become that stumbling block in the future. It will be difficult for her to overcome herself, to become relaxed and self-confident, to make a short haircut, if that requires a shower, to wear tight-fitting seductive jeans and crop tops.
Even at a deeply honorable age “in favor”, many long-time independent children do not find a compromise with their parents, because they continue to communicate from a position of experience that the “younger” will never reach.When the parental opinion remains not only a priority, but an undeniable and the only true one, it is completely senseless to persuade and look for a compromise. Unfortunately, there are families where a true friendly relationship on equal terms is still not built, but it is still necessary to find a common language, to respect and conduct conversations “without unnecessary details”. After all, parents do not choose, they just love!
Soap Snowflake - make a gift for the New Year with your own hands
How to decorate a regular t-shirt and a t-shirt with your own hands
Uma Thurman accused Harvey Weinstein of harassment
What are the lips
Honey Apple Pie