Serious relationship: do you need it?
There comes a moment in the life of each person when he realizes that the time has come to acquire “serious relationships” in his life. For many, this concept includes its components, the main ones being a stamp in the passport and children. Most often, such desires arise under some influence or after reading certain books, watching movies. Everyone around is getting married, having children, time is running out and, sort of like, you start to feel that it is time for us too.
So what is it?
This concept can change its value from one pair to another, as each puts its own specific values and needs into it, and women's and men's opinions on this matter can have dramatic differences. Most often the main criterion by which the "seriousness" of the relationship is considered to be marriage.
But is this really true? Nowadays, you can always divorce, besides marriage can be forced or, to put it mildly, in the absence of the desire of one of the parties.
Forced marriage? Can someone else be forced now? Of course, after all the cases of marriage for a "pregnancy girl" is far from uncommon,and a "real" man should be responsible for his actions, and a new family is being formed. How long, right?
Of course, situations can be different, and such marriages can be durable, but that's just statistics shouting the opposite. A happy marriage because of pregnancy has become, rather, the exception to the rule than the norm. And can such a relationship be called serious?
Providing a family and bringing money into the house - this is often the opinion of the male half of society, which has entered a phase of a relationship called “serious”. Taking care of the house and husband, raising children are serious intentions in the women's case.
But can pregnancy, marriage, rings, pans, money and other household trifles be a good reason for a serious relationship? After all, unless people who are not married, but live together for a long time and enjoy every moment of their relationship, do not have the right to be called a couple in a serious relationship? Can So what is a serious relationship?
Serious relations are big aspirations, as well as the efforts made to them to implement them.
This is a union of two people who have decided to unite all their opportunities forever,and also came to the general desire to live together until the last days, so that it did not happen, to bring up their children together, to develop and grow together in both emotional and social status.
Serious relationships are sacrifices that can turn out to be quite considerable; it is quite possible that we will have to resist parents' grievances and misunderstandings of friends, reconsider their values and views on “personal” freedom and space.
Such a relationship is a huge work on yourself and your partner, who will never come down to the minimum. And only when you really realize all this, understand and accept, then only in this case are you really ready for a serious relationship. Sex, flowers, hair curlers, pots, money - concepts that will be applied to the main core of your joint efforts and aspirations.
Is it necessary?
And now, having thought over all these concepts, having taken into account all the reasoning and one’s own conjectures, it is worth considering - or maybe it should not be amenable to universal influence? Such relationships, of course, are wonderful when they are brought to marriage, but it must become desirable and appropriate for both halves.
It is necessary to come to this decision gradually and with all seriousness, the man and the woman should feel that everything that was once personal has become joint and it does not bother anyone. Immersion in common life and joint responsibilities should be gradual and deliberate: common problems, children and not a hammered nail.
Many believe that the main criterion for a serious relationship is age. Here in 17 years, they say, serious relationships can not be built, because this is just love, often with a strong passion and desire, but not a degree of love. But in 25, as if by magic, a person becomes serious and ready. What kind of nonsense and labeling people?
There are many cases where marriages, formed at the age of 17-19 at the request of the partners themselves, remain strong and eternal until the last days, which can not be said about the later. So it's not about age, but in a joint desire and desire to move towards each other. This, of course, must happen somewhere on a psychological level.
From the very childhood we heard from parents and teachers that in the future every normal person is obliged to acquire a family and children.But remember, no one is in no way obligated to anyone! A person has the right to decide and act as he sees, and not as he was told.
It is necessary to come to a serious relationship, and not to join them on orders. Often, a woman is much earlier ready to start a serious relationship than a man, so if a potential fan appears on the near front, then she begins to wonder, and how is he set up? Are his feelings serious, or maybe he is just having fun and exciting time, not trying to burden himself with something serious and important.
Let us turn to the candy-flower period, when everything is just being born. A really in love man will look for meetings with the object of adoration, try to give her special attention. As you know, men love with their eyes, so long admiring glances in your direction also speak of his considerable interest in your person.
Time goes by, the moment of transition to “something more serious” is coming, maybe this is a joint residence or conclusion of an official union. How to understand that a man is really serious and your relationship for him is not just another hobby? If he refuses to introduceyou with your relatives, and also resist communicating with your family, this is a sure sign that he is not ready yet, and may even be afraid of a serious relationship.
A loving man sincerely empathizes with your successes and failures, seeks to help in your affairs and undertakings, cares about your health, and is also ready to sacrifice. What are these victims? He is ready to postpone his meetings with friends, fishing trips, as well as his favorite hobby in order to give you attention, especially when you really need it.
A fan who is not particularly serious about his darling, can repeatedly shift and cancel your meetings, inventing dubious excuses. A loving man, as well as a woman, is bored and needs the attention of his half, so he cannot see himself for a long time with his chosen one.
Serious relationship is an important step for any couple that does not happen quickly and without thought, for him to pass the time.
And only when the partners are ready to learn to sacrifice and respect, to tolerate and pass by somewhere, to bear the common burden, and also to raise children, based on mutual understanding and love, then only then can we talk about serious relationships that will develop into long and happy life
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